Let the festive season begin… PS it will probably snow tomorrow.

Haven’t written for a while but thought I should see the month out with a few sentences of shoved together nonsense to see out the fastest February after the most drawn out January on record. PS it will probably snow tomorrow.

Christmas is far behind us and thank little baby Jebus himself, I have lost nearly a stone since then, have started to like working and not resent it as I have to leave the giant baby human behind, and have had a reasonably drama free couple of months. But oh no no no, I must not rest on my laurels (whatever the chickens that means) because here comes the most festive time of the year…. birthday season. PS it will probably snow tomorrow.

It all kicked off last week with Dr sister-in-law and then it will just snowball from there. PS it will probably snow tomorrow.

Coming events:

  • NSH birthday (tomorrow! Must wrap thoughtful presents purchased from Tesco at the weekend)
  • Littlest flower friend’s 30th birthday 
  • Mother’s Day (must remind NSH and brothers)
  • River man brother’s birthday
  • My birthday
  • HBL’s birthday
  • Bestest gin friend’s wedding
  • And to round it all off on 10th April my giant baby human will be a whole year and no longer a fraction of one.

There is basically an event at least once a week and all of these events involve food and/or drink and/or money. PS it will probably snow tomorrow.

So I need to be extra extra extra good the rest of the days. I have a serious need for speed (SW jargon for any pals concerned that I have a new recreational hobby). Also need to be tight on the old purse strings (mine has a zip, can one be tight on a purse zip? I have another with a popper, could that work? Tight on the old purse popper sounds like a euphemism for something, don’t know what though). I need to find ways to eat well on the cheap. Cheap cheapy cheap, couple of coppers cheap. PS it will probably snow tomorrow.

I will let you know what bargain recipes I find and how they turn out. Might also give a sneak peak into my ever so exciting social life. Because NSH birthday cake is a marvel!

PS it will probably snow tomorrow.

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Insomnimum

Considering “insomnimum” as my new blogging name! I am beyond shattered. I am ‘couldn’t run a bath’ sleepy. I am aching in all of my muscles knackered. But I am awake.

NSH is asleep next to me (not a night shift tonight), Snoop Bobby Dogg is asleep at my feet and the giant baby human is fast a sleepy pleeps in his room. But I am awake.

I am awake because I don’t get Sunday night blues, I get Monday night blues. I am awake because my brain doesn’t shut up. I am awake because I cant stop my mind imagining scenarios of what might happen and who might do what and what I will say and what I should have said and what do I need to pack for the baby tomorrow and have I turned the oven off and I need to wash my car and probably get it serviced and will I have lost weight this week and we need to child proof the house, the bleach is under the sink and and …

… and it’s only 10pm why the bloody hell am I worrying about not being asleep.

This is not anxiety it is an over active internal monologue gland!

ARGH!

From Saturday afternoon to Tuesday lunchtime Night shift husband is, in fact, not NSH he becomes instead RGH (regular golfing husband). On the odd occasion if he is in the bad books he is ARGH I like to add the “A” and imagine myself donning a pinny and shaking a rolling pin. Make your own minds up about what the “A” stands for!!

That’s it, holidays over, back to work. So of course I have a really sore throat and am losing my voice! I wouldn’t crack open the champers, what a waste of 5 syns to celebrate in my pain and misery. (I now really want some champagne, the stuff from lidl £17.99 a bottle I think, is my new favourite drink and luckily I can’t afford it so that’s that)

Since my last post, if you (mysterious and lovely readers) were to ask me have I been 100% on plan my answer would be this: “medium”. Meals have been good good good but I have been doing far to much synstimating, you know “thasssabout 2, oneuvthemsabout 5, a scoopadatsabout 12” you get the idea. So I have 3 days til weigh in and I have planned and cooked it all using a multitude of fabulous gadgets. Looove my soup maker!

Some of the food made, eaten and prepared to be eaten include:

  • Beef stew – zero syns
  • Veg soup – zero syns
  • Thai chicken noodle soup (4 syns per portion – coconut milk)
  • Chicken, spinach and potato curry – zero syns
  • Overnight oats (not using miller lights because sugar is pretty evil and I am trying to limit it) -zero syns

I also have some 2 finger kit kats because the sun value (5.5) is well and truly tattooed on my brain. I can save myself from crap all day at the promise of a kit Kat and a cup of tea once the giant baby human has gone to bed.

Giant baby human has been enjoying his free food so far too. Curry was a fave I think. He made a zzznnnnlllllllll sound as if putting on a fake lisp and I have taken that to mean

“by golly mother what a fabulous chef you are, now rub some sudacrem on my bottom and entertain me with songs of how the lady rides and I promise never to ask you what a bobbin is and why you do so insist on winding it back and forth”

He is teething. It is a joy.

Aaaaaaaaaand back to work. School is where the cakes and biscuits are, where I don’t get time to go to the staff room so have to make sure my lunch isn’t so bland and limp that only a custard cream will get me through the day. I have therefore purchased a thermos food pot for keeping me food thermosed (or is it thermoosed?)

Short post this eve. Work tomorrow. Weigh in Wednesday…

Cheers mind

xx

Maternity leave panic

Last day of work before maternity leave for me tomorrow. I think I should be excited but I am feeling really anxious.

I am more than happy to be off work and be a mum. I don’t feel worried about the birth or the feeding or the lack of sleep or any of the mum parts. The anxiety comes from staring into the unknown tunnel with no clear light at the end. This sounds morbid, I don’t mean it to. 

I am finishing work but I do not have a job to go back to and it has suddenly hit me.

Another new job

If you have read previous posts you will see that they made me redundant, the massive meanies! In a desperate attempt to be employed and not live off of toast alone, I have taken a part time job as a teaching assistant up until nightshift baby decides to make his appearance. 

The plus sides are: it is in a school that I have previously worked in, that I loved working in and where I have some friends. It is 10 minutes up the road. It is close to all my midwife appointments. And it is relatively stress and responsibility free.

The down sides are: I have had to take a pay cut meaning I take home a third of what I was previously. So still toast for tea on some nights but not every night! No trips to Waitrose allowed. 

Difficult to go back into education with my tail between my legs after moaning about it so much and being openly a bit smug about leaving. However needs must and I have no shame so will happily hold my hands up and say “I don’t hate you education, I just hate the people who control you”

Happy new year

Here we are January 1st. December 31st was spent watching Harry Potter with Snoop Bobby Dog and NSH. Gurt lush!

An appalling end to last year involved redundancy and sadness for very close friends. I intend on doing my best to be a positive nightshift widow this year.

Other resolutions include:

I will steam the floors and bleach the sink once a week.

I will drink more water.

I will swim more.

I will evacuate tiny human from womb in some shape or form!

I will endeavour to be a good mum.

I will use my behavioural powers for good and not evil!

Merry new year!

Diary of a disillusioned teacher: the staffing, stress, sickness circular argument

In the field of applied behaviour analysis, we talk about the unhelpfulness of circular reasoning. Using ADHD as a means to explaining and excusing behaviour is a better known example. So here goes my explanation:

“why does your child behave that way?”

“because he has ADHD”

“how do you know he has ADHD?”

“because he behaves in that way”

This reasoning is so unhelpful, it solves no ones problem and ultimately tries to give an excuse for a behaviour that gives no explanation for why a behaviour is happening and what to do about it to change it.

Staffing within special needs schools, in my experience follows a circular reasoning loop, it is a problem, the problem needs to be addressed.

Staff are often off sick

this persistant poor staffing puts added stress on the remaining staff

The stress and exhaustion of working understaffed causes staff sickness

staff are off sick.

The solution is simple … Employ more staff, focus more on staff well being… Address the problem. There is no bank of SEN TAs.

I am no fool. I know there is no money, there is little press interest and there is no government interest whatsoever.

But the problem exists, it is circular, in the meantime the ultimate outcome, in my point of view, is that the pupils these staff work with do not receive the level of support, care and instruction that they deserve.