“One positiviticillin, once a week should do the trick”

Now, those who know me (a select few due to me being selective and the human race being selective not always in my favour) probably wouldn’t describe me as an ‘happy go lucky’ ‘glass have full’ kind of a gal. In truth I am your run of the mill sarcastic bitch most of the time. I used to describe myself as a “cynical romantic” in that I love the idea of romance but am always suspicious of its motives. Then I met the NSH and now I am just cynical! (Joking of course, did I not mention I was once blessed with a sieve and a can of vodka and coke for my birthday)


Something happens on a Wednesday at 5:30. I unusually go out of my comfort zone and frequent a social event in the next village along that fills me with joy, positivity and I also just about manage to stay within the social norms and not make a fool out of myself. The people at my slimming world group just light up my life. I smile, I laugh, I gasp, I at times hold back utter shock and I have the best couple of hours in the company of pretty much strangers. The most positivity exudes itself from our fabulous slimming guru (now to be known as FSG, hope she doesn’t mind). FSG is… I cannot even explain it. She brings so much joy to so many people and it brings me back time and time again for a weekly dose of hump day happiness.   On a Wednesday night I laugh, forget myself and everything else. 

The best thing is it lingers. I found myself driving home thinking “wouldn’t it be great to have a modern day WI, that was for anyone and met in a pub, which would help keep a local pub running, and we could have a series of speakers and silly competitions and sing songs and all be friends and I could make badges….(it goes on)”. For me Wednesday is the end of my working week and I am usually a bit drained so the positivicillin could not be administered at a better time.

1.5lb loss this week, but a stone lighter in stress.

My positive plan this week is to go mega on the speed. The following week I have a hen do so would love to lose as much as possible before hand. (Speaking of said hen do. I ordered some hen do paraphernalia off of amazon, when it was delivered I discovered a pack of multi size googly eyes… poor child somewhere, that was looking forward to some crafting and opened a pack of willy straws!!)


Cult of food optimising

Currently sitting in group while people weigh in. All shapes and sizes. It’s absolutely rammed. Loves it!

It occurred to me we are a bit of a cult. It’s okay, cults are okay it’s the sects you need to worry about, they’re the ones that would all vow to eat an arsenic infused hifi and end their weight gain FOREVER (Or so my sociology teacher told me)! I can spot a member of the cult quickly in a supermarket. The tell tell muller lights and mug shots. Choc shot and frylight. And loads of veg! At work I can tell by people’s lunches and choice of snacks. Babybels and the glorious 2 finger kit Kat. 

Then there is the language. Members of the cult take speed, but it’s not speed speed, it’s perfectly okay speed and the more of it the better. No speed equals bad times (SW speed not speed speed!). There really should be a slimming world dictionary. I remember a couple of years ago seeing a friend post her sw meal on social media and say she had used “hexa cheese”, I was so intrigued I asked her where I could buy this hexa cheese. Obviously she meant her healthy extra a box. I was gutted that there wasn’t some magical syn free cheese! I had done slimming world for years at this point, I can only imagine how confusing it must be for newbies!

Anyway I digress… back to tonight.

Brought mother along, she has done it once before but was much better at it than me even though I was, at the time, cooking most of her meals!!! Be interesting to see how Harold Bishop lookalike (HBL) Dad gets on as he is head chef of the household. He hates following recipes and thinks justalittle won’t hurt. Going to sit him down and go through the books. I shall challenge my inner Angela (consultant extraordinaire if you don’t know).

So first week back. Lost 4lb. Bloody lovely! Great group, great people with even greatererer tips! I learned a couple of new things. Firstly must buy some big bowl oats so simple, secondly my piddly little hands mean a “portion” of pasta for me is pathetic! I mean the bow pasta, I could probably hold 4!!!! Better buy some macaroni. Thirdly my “bread is evil” theory was backed up by other members who it seems are also bread addicts with no self control around baked dough! I cannot buy bread, I cannot buy bread, I CANNOT BUY BREAD!

NSH is back to work this evening so I will be early to bed and reading a book… for about 2 pages before I fall asleep. No doubt giant baby human will be up before 6 and I am going to the gym tomorrow morning to go for a walk and a down hill ride on the exercise bike followed by a lengthy and calorie busting shower!

Disjointed blog tonight, but written at different times and shoved together! My goal for this week is to show you what I am eating.

Much love 


Not so slimming world and not so nightshift widow

Okay so I should be approaching my fourth weigh in and should have easily have lost nearly half a stone. Instead I missed my first week weigh in and my third and won’t be able to go this week… will go Wednesday instead… MUST GO WEDNESDAY INATEAD! My head has so not been in the game. This being a new mum and breast feeding a 2 month old almost once an hour is a little exhausting and I am still opting for something easy and yummy when the opportunity presents itself!

However, this week I am introducing a bottle or two of formula a day to give myself a bit of a break. Also it’s hot and I have nothing to wear so I really need to sort myself out.

Night shift husband (NSH) is working days for the next 2 weeks so that is going to throw me off but also will mean eating at normal times and not having to creep around or leave the house in the mornings. Plus he is there to “help” at night. I know he would help if he could but there really is no point in two of us waking up to watch me breastfeed the baby!!! However if one of the little ones bi-weekly bowl movements should occur when NSH is present, then he is more than welcome to help deal with the explosion!!!

So as I know too well, planning is absolute key. Off to Aldi first thing to buy lots of fresh fruit to make a massive fruit salad, bits to make a huge Greek salad and lots of other healthy goodness. 

Might also buy a paddling pool… for the baby of course, for the baby!